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“你想一夜暴富吗？你想身家过亿吗？你想衣食无忧吗？你想生活不愁吗？不如跟我在一起，我们两个一起想”
“我不敢把房间打扫得太干净，我怕打扫太干净，房间里唯一的垃圾就只剩下我了”
“我觉得我就是小时候兴趣班上多了，所以长大了才没有兴趣上班”
“拼对象拼奶茶都行，就拼多多不行”
“本来想跟网红一样去野餐，刚把野餐布铺好东西放上，一大爷上来就问我，西红柿多少钱一斤”
“你已经1秒没回我了，太有趣了，这天气就是需要你的冷暴力”
“起床了（击败全国95%的懒狗）”
“以前不开心就发空间，太幼稚了。我现在微博贴吧网易云朋友圈空间一起发，我要我的悲伤填满整个网络”
“可以借你的冷漠冻一下我的旺旺碎冰冰吗”
“自我介绍：二十岁，四肢健全，大小便正常，从小独立呼吸，一天可以吃三顿，会玩智能手机。未来可期”
“别人吃饱了就谈恋爱，你呢，根本吃不饱”
“如果你感受不到父爱，你可以去买基金，那你就能看到跌了”
“据说每个人都是一个半圆，在世界上寻找另一个半圆，那如果我长得够圆，是不是就不用找了？”
“宝，游戏连续登录一周还有奖励呢，我天天找你。你怎么对我冷冰冰的呢？”
“没有水的地方叫沙漠，没有我的地方叫寂寞”
“我妈让我关掉音乐别打扰她睡觉，不然就把我的头摁在键盘上，哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈，我就不”
“天太热不想打伞，来十个一米九的肌肉帅哥把我围成一圈，我就在你们影子下走路，先报名的当队长”
“请先摸摸你那红嫩的小脸，再摸摸你的小肚子。好！这次养猪知识讲座到此结束，明天见！”
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he day that you see me ldand I am already not， have patience and try to understand me … If I get dirty when eating… if I cannot dress… have patience. Remember the hours I spent teaching it to you. If， when I speak to you，I repeat the same things thousand and one times… Do not interrupt me… listen to me When you were small， I had to read to you thousand and one times the same story until you get to sleep… When I do not want to have a shower，neither shame me nor scold me…
he day that you see me ldand I am already not， have patience and try to understand me … If I get dirty when eating… if I cannot dress… have patience. Remember the hours I spent teaching it to you. If， when I speak to you，I repeat the same things thousand and one times… Do not interrupt me… listen to me When you were small， I had to read to you thousand and one times the same story until you get to sleep… When I do not want to have a shower，neither shame me nor scold me…
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让我美好祝福陪你入睡，好梦！